I wish it got easier every month. It doesn't.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
{as of late}
My poor, poor craft room. I used to craft in there...and then it became more of a storage room/toss messes from other rooms in there and shut the door type of room. I hated it because I'm a big believer in utilizing all of the rooms you have for their intended purpose, and I'm pretty sure when this house was built, they wouldn't have put a window in a storage room. Know what I'm sayin? So I've been cleaning house, big time. I had so many "could be" projects in there that I had forgot about and now I just don't have time and to be honest, some of the projects I wanted to do, I'm not that into now. Funny how your style changes, right? I'll post somethings tomorrow on here to see if any of you want them for a steal!
In the mean time, this is what I've been working on. The closet portion of my guest/craft/maybe nursery someday room. I wanted to put a desk in my closet, but the built-ins didn't really accommodate, so I did what any crafty girl would do. I tore out half of my closet. And it was a blast! Seriously, hitting the crap out of those shelves was therapeutic. Andrew thought I had gone mad, and I probably had to be honest. My clomid dose had doubled and if you've ever been on a high dose of that shiz, you know what can go down!
So here's the before...
During...
and after...well, most of it.
I hand painted the stencil, which I thought would be easy (Other bloggers that had done the same thing made it look sooo simple. They lied. It was a pain in the butt...and my wrist.) Just don't look too close, k?
The light, shelf, brackets, and magazine holder are from Ikea. The magnet frame is also an Ikea frame. Love me some Ikea. I'll explain how I did the desk later, when the entire thing is finished.
P.S. Speaking of Ikea- the same day the hubs and I were out shopping for these supplies, a reader approached me out of the blue and told me how much she loves my blog! I was so shocked someone actually read my blog and recognized me! So, thank you dear reader, for making my day and for the sweet compliment! You made me feel awesome. :)
In the mean time, this is what I've been working on. The closet portion of my guest/craft/maybe nursery someday room. I wanted to put a desk in my closet, but the built-ins didn't really accommodate, so I did what any crafty girl would do. I tore out half of my closet. And it was a blast! Seriously, hitting the crap out of those shelves was therapeutic. Andrew thought I had gone mad, and I probably had to be honest. My clomid dose had doubled and if you've ever been on a high dose of that shiz, you know what can go down!
So here's the before...
The light, shelf, brackets, and magazine holder are from Ikea. The magnet frame is also an Ikea frame. Love me some Ikea. I'll explain how I did the desk later, when the entire thing is finished.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
{on asking "why me?"}
I was listening to NPR while sitting in my car in the back of the Target parking lot, as I often do on my lunch break (it's so relaxing to me) when a phrase caught me by surprise.
The guest, David Rakoff was talking to Terry Gross about his cancer. His doctors told him that the cancer — a sarcoma in his neck — was caused by earlier radiation treatments he received for a bout with lymphoma in his 20s. When Terry asked him if he ever asked "Why me..." this was his reply....
"Writer Melissa Bank said it best: 'The only proper answer to 'Why me?' is 'Why not you?' The universe is anarchic and doesn't care about us and unfortunately, there's no greater rhyme or reason as to why it would be me. And since there is no answer as to why me, it's not a question I feel really entitled to ask. And in so many other ways, I'm so far ahead of the game. I have access to great medical care. My general baseline health, aside from the general unpleasantness of the cancer, is great. And it's great because I'm privileged to have great health. And I live in a country where I'm not making sneakers for a living and I don't live near a toxic waste dump. You can't win all the contests and then lose at one contest and say 'Why am I not winning this contest as well?' It's random. So truthfully, again, do I wish it weren't me? Absolutely. I still can't make that logistic jump to thinking there's a reason why it shouldn't be me."
His comment totally caught me off guard. For the longest time as I've struggled with infertility, I've thought a million times, "Why me?" But seriously, why not me? It's true- the universe is anarchic and there is no greater rhyme or reason as to why it would be me. I'm a religious, faithful person, which to be honest, sometimes makes it easier to ask "why me"? If God does love me, why would he deny me the one thing I want the most? I've let myself get consumed with that thought more times than I'd like to admit, and it's so consuming that at times, I've almost drowned in it. Becoming bitter and envious over something you don't have is a very easy thing to do and it's something I struggle with every day. Every day I pray for understanding and guidance. I have often wondered why it's been so difficult to get pregant, but when I'm really at peace with it and with myself, I can get past the "why me" part.
I have to remind myself that God does love me. Not getting pregnant is not his way of punishing me. It's just the way things are. Bad things happen every day to everyone, and rather than dwell on the negative, I'm learning to focus on the positive. I want a baby so bad. I want to be pregnant. But I have to realize that while I can only do so much that's in my control, the rest is up to Him. I've also realized that there are things I can control. I might not ever get pregnant, but that doesn't mean I can't be a mom and raise children. I have a lot to be grateful for. My sweet husband, my family and supportive friends, my job, house and car, modern technology, and pants without holes. ;)
So why not me? I wish this was something I could just say, "I'm okay with it", and breathe a sigh of relief. If only it were that easy, right? But for now, I'm accepting it and knowing that thing will work out how they're supposed to.
The guest, David Rakoff was talking to Terry Gross about his cancer. His doctors told him that the cancer — a sarcoma in his neck — was caused by earlier radiation treatments he received for a bout with lymphoma in his 20s. When Terry asked him if he ever asked "Why me..." this was his reply....
"Writer Melissa Bank said it best: 'The only proper answer to 'Why me?' is 'Why not you?' The universe is anarchic and doesn't care about us and unfortunately, there's no greater rhyme or reason as to why it would be me. And since there is no answer as to why me, it's not a question I feel really entitled to ask. And in so many other ways, I'm so far ahead of the game. I have access to great medical care. My general baseline health, aside from the general unpleasantness of the cancer, is great. And it's great because I'm privileged to have great health. And I live in a country where I'm not making sneakers for a living and I don't live near a toxic waste dump. You can't win all the contests and then lose at one contest and say 'Why am I not winning this contest as well?' It's random. So truthfully, again, do I wish it weren't me? Absolutely. I still can't make that logistic jump to thinking there's a reason why it shouldn't be me."
His comment totally caught me off guard. For the longest time as I've struggled with infertility, I've thought a million times, "Why me?" But seriously, why not me? It's true- the universe is anarchic and there is no greater rhyme or reason as to why it would be me. I'm a religious, faithful person, which to be honest, sometimes makes it easier to ask "why me"? If God does love me, why would he deny me the one thing I want the most? I've let myself get consumed with that thought more times than I'd like to admit, and it's so consuming that at times, I've almost drowned in it. Becoming bitter and envious over something you don't have is a very easy thing to do and it's something I struggle with every day. Every day I pray for understanding and guidance. I have often wondered why it's been so difficult to get pregant, but when I'm really at peace with it and with myself, I can get past the "why me" part.
I have to remind myself that God does love me. Not getting pregnant is not his way of punishing me. It's just the way things are. Bad things happen every day to everyone, and rather than dwell on the negative, I'm learning to focus on the positive. I want a baby so bad. I want to be pregnant. But I have to realize that while I can only do so much that's in my control, the rest is up to Him. I've also realized that there are things I can control. I might not ever get pregnant, but that doesn't mean I can't be a mom and raise children. I have a lot to be grateful for. My sweet husband, my family and supportive friends, my job, house and car, modern technology, and pants without holes. ;)
So why not me? I wish this was something I could just say, "I'm okay with it", and breathe a sigh of relief. If only it were that easy, right? But for now, I'm accepting it and knowing that thing will work out how they're supposed to.
Monday, October 3, 2011
{navy}
I'm loving navy accent walls right now and I'm seriously considering painting one in my dining room! Navy and white feel so clean and crisp together, and they don't have to feel too nautical. I love these examples from Houzz.com!
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