Wednesday, November 9, 2011

{the night I thought I was dying}

I've been sick. Really really sick. It started with a mild sore throat and a small case of the sniffles, but it soon turned into something worse. By Monday night, I was miserable. Every muscle in my body ached, I had a terrible headache, I was freezing one minute and on fire the next, and I felt like I was going to puke at any minute. I knew it was probably just a cold, but a little voice in my head (you know, the one that thinks its a doctor and needs to over diagnose everything?) told me it was something more. It had to be. I mean, who gets that sick, that fast with just a cold. It had to be something else.

I thought a bath would help me feel better and thought the hot water would help steam out my fever. While it was soothing to breathe in the scent of lavender (love my lavender Epsom salts), it was totally uncomfortable sitting in my teensy tub. I kept rotating from sitting up, letting the water cover my legs while my torso froze and scooting down, scrunching my knees up to let my torso soak in the water while my legs froze. (How many of you also have a tiny tub? I want one I can stretch out in and actually submerge myself in instead of sitting in 10" of water that only covers 1/2 my body).

After the tub, I decided to go to bed early. It was about 8:30 and instead of turning my phone off and going to bed, I utilized our recently upgraded data plan and got on Web MD. As I was searching cold/flu symptoms, a thought suddenly crossed my mind. I had just recently finished my period (TMI? Maybe, but when have I held back recently? Proceed with caution) We all know the products women use during their cycle, one of which is a tampon, and there are certain precautions you're supposed to take. How many of you have read the little insert that comes with every box? You know, the one that talks about TSS or Toxic Shock Syndrome? Well, suddenly, I thought, "OMG- what if I am that 1% who got TSS?! IT'S DEADLY!!"

I immediately searched symptoms. The first on the list was confusion. I looked up from my phone, tilted my head, and thought for a minute. Was I confused? I couldn't think straight, so I decided I was. The next symptom: General ill-feeling. Why yes, I was feeling generally ill! Headaches? Check. High fever, sometimes accompanied by chills. OMG, check. Low blood pressure. I took my pulse and counted, not really sure what I should be looking for, but thought my pulse felt slightly slower. I was seriously getting concerned. Muscle aches, check. Nausea and/or vomiting. Check.

I began seriously freaking out. I had all of these symptoms. The next on the list were organ failure (usually kidneys and liver), redness of eyes, mouth, throat, and seizures. OMG seizures!? I ran to the bathroom to examine my eyes. They weren't red, but the inside of my mouth was...which it usually is. I wondered if I should tell Andrew. Should I go to the ER? How much is my copay? After having a mild panic attack, I decided I'd wait to see if any of my organs failed or for a seizure. After all, I didn't want to worry Andrew.

I spent the next few hours, watching TV, but would mute it periodically and pausing to see if I was feeling anything different in my stomach. I wasn't sure what organ failure felt like, but I wanted to make sure it wasn't happening to me, and for some reason, I thought muting the TV would help detect anything. Perhaps organ failure is noisy? Like the sound of an engine shutting down. Hmm... I waited until I was too tired to worry anymore and figured if something did happen in the middle of the night, Andrew would find me. Just hopefully not dead. Lucky for me, it just turned out to be a terrible cold. I woke up the next morning feeling worse than I did before, but from the way my nose was running, I was sure it was just a cold. After all, a runny nose wasn't a TSS symptom. *phew* I vowed after that to never look up any other possible sicknesses on Web MD. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does this...

11 comments:

Lori @ Katies Rose Cottage Designs said...

Oh my gosh Shan you are cracking me up!! I am totally like that!!

kelly said...

Hilarious! I hope you're feeling better now!

Cassy said...

So funny!! I was laughing so hard. Thanks for that story...I needed that today! Organ failure...NOISEY...seriously I laughed so hard. You are an amazing writer.
Hope you get over your cold soon!

Allie Waite said...

Hahaha I totally do that too! I found a bump in my groin region and Web MD told me it was probably cancer, so I hurried to the gyno and he told me it was an ingrown hair/giant pimple. Awesome.

Katie said...

Shan, you're hilarious! I love you!

I'm actually the opposite. I've had to have people demand I go to the doctor and, yes, at age 28 my mom had to drive me to the doctor because I refused... I turned out to be right both times--it was nothing, really!

dnA said...

Great laugh, Shan! Love the interesting ads this post generated too ;). I hope you're feeling better!

Sarah said...

hilarious. i'm cracking up.

I totally check out WebMD and diagnose myself and every other human being in my radius with a disease.

Laura said...

Hehehe... awesome. Yes, done that. I hope you are feeling better! :)

Ms.JayQue said...

LOL, that is soo funny. Thank God for WebMD right? ha ha

Robert & Heather Stephenson said...

Oh Shannon! I love ya! Yes, I do the same thing. I thought I was having problems with my gall bladder. I was freaking out about how we were going to pay for the surgery to get it removed. It turned out to be IBS. Simple little pill fixed it. Oh and I too love a deep bath tub. I invested in a drain plug so I can fill our tiny tub all the way to the top. Check them out. They just suction cup over your drain thingy that is under the facet. (Sorry I don't know the technical name for it.)

Megan and Brian Rogers said...

Meb MD... I can't live with it and I can't live without it!! A little while ago, I was sure that I had a kidney disease that I was going to die from. Oh, it's also told me I could have a few STDs- ha!