Wednesday, May 4, 2011

{cancer is a bitch}

A little over a year ago my mom and I made a quick trip down to Hurricane Utah to spend a few days with my Grandparents. My Grandma had just had her yearly mammogram and when the results came back, they wanted to do a biopsy, which she had done a few days before we got there. The night we arrived, the phone rang. Grandma took the call in her bedroom and I stood in the kitchen, watching my mom who stood at the door. When she came out to the dining room, where we were clearing the table, she simply said, "I have breast cancer."

Grandpa literally reeled, dropped the bowl of salad in his hand to the floor and braced himself with both hands. A lump rose in my throat and I froze. I had no idea what to say & looked to my mom for support. Soon Grandma was had surgery, chemo, radiation, and now she's better.

*phew*

Then 6 months ago, when my mom went in for her mammogram they saw some "calcifications". They wanted to keep an eye on them and scheduled another mammo in 6 months. The new mammo was a couple of weeks ago, where they saw that nothing had changed. Calcifications still there. The Dr. that read this mammo said he wanted to check them out & scheduled a biopsy. In my mom's own words, "...I found my self with my left breast hanging through a hole, like I was ice-fishing with booby-bate. I just hope, with the metal markers now in both of the girls, I don't set off any alarms." (love her sense of humor!)

After the biopsy it was time to wait. Then yesterday, a few minutes before work ended, I got a call from my mom. "Hey! Come over to the house after work!" She sounded normal & happy. "Okay! ...Why?"
"I have something to tell you." She still sounded normal and honestly, I didn't think anything of it until I pulled up into the driveway and saw my brothers cars there too.

I walked in and she said, "I have cancer". Then she half laughed and started to cry, which made me start crying too. We both did the chuckle/cry which is when you are crying, but you feel like such a boob and don't want to be crying, so you kind of chuckle too while thinking, "Is this really happening?"

And that is what I was thinking. Is this really happening? It seem so surreal. You can read my mom's own words here. They caught it early, and if there's a "good" kind of cancer this is it. Very treatable and I'm sure she'll be fine. I just need to keep telling myself that. I can't let myself think anything other than that, or I fly into hysterics. She will be fine.

Tomorrow she's scheduled for surgery and I know I'll be spending a lot of time on my knees tonight and tomorrow. I believe that He hears our prayers, and I believe in faith to be healed. I know she'll be okay. She will be fine.

Still, cancer is a bitch.

20 comments:

Laura said...

Shan, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. This is so hard. Cancer certainly is a monster and so many are affected by its different types. You, your family, and especially your mom, are in my prayers. Love ya!

amyharrisonphotography said...

Hi there. Long time reader, first time commenter :)

Cancer IS a bitch! I am so very sorry that your family has this trial to face. But I am certain, like you, that we have a loving Heavenly Father who hears and answers our prayers and will watch over your dear mom.
(Am I going to get struck by lightening because I used a swear word and "Heavenly Father" in the same paragraph?) Uh Oh.
Hang in there!

Katt said...

Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry to hear this. She will be in our prayers and thoughts, for sure.

-Kasey said...

Oh I am so sorry to hear about this. Your right Cancer is a real bitch. My grandmother has had breast cancer twice and bless her heart, has pushed through it with courage.

I will be sending well wishes your way!!

Allie Harling said...

oh shannon... I have been thinking about you guys constantly since Tuesday night when Chad got the news from Cheryl. Your mom is in my prayers and all of you are too. This post made me cry! But don't worry because you're right, everything will be fine. I too believe that He hears our prayers and I know that there are a lot of prayers for the Cann family right now :)

Desiree said...

Shannon, I am so so sorry! She will be in my prayers. I adore your Mom. If it helps, my neighbor just found out the exact same thing about her mom last year at this time-and now her mom is cancer free and if anything-the cancer brought her and her mom closer. She shaved her mom's head and they had a spa/wig day and they have participated in every cancer walk out there in the past year. I sincerely believe that your mom will be okay. But still, it sucks! Hugs to you both!

Shayner and Ern said...

Oh Shann... gosh... that is A LOT to take in. I believe she will get through it. Where I work I see a lot of these cases, and a lot of people come out kickin' :)
My prayers are with her and your family.

Shayner and Ern said...

Oh Shann... gosh... that is A LOT to take in. I believe she will get through it. Where I work I see a lot of these cases, and a lot of people come out kickin' :)
My prayers are with her and your family.

Shayner and Ern said...

Oh Shann... gosh... that is A LOT to take in. I believe she will get through it. Where I work I see a lot of these cases, and a lot of people come out kickin' :)
My prayers are with her and your family.

paula said...

How ironic the timing of this post is in my life today Shannon...Last week I registered to do the Susan G Komen-Race For The Cure which is on Saturday. With a new baby at home who won't take a bottle from anyone and a bit of depression and self-pity on my part, I've been trying to find a way to break it to my walking gals that I won't be joining them on Saturday. Then I read this.....THE KICK IN THE BUTT I NEEDED! I just want you to know that I will be walking on Saturday for your mom and sending my thoughts and prayers of love and healing her way the entire time. I am also sending my love and prayers to you....give yourself a big hug from me.

And yes, I agree, cancer is a bitch.

Barry Cann said...

I'm not sure why, but this isn't affecting me at all. Am I a terrible person? I guess I'm too practical? I figure they know what they're doing, they know how to get rid of this, so it doesn't really worry me.

I do find it ironic that this is all coming around Mother's Day. :) We'll definitely shower Mom with extra attention and presents. Maybe she planned it this way? Haha!

Mandy @ OTA said...

Wow, I thought you were telling my story. My grandma had breast cancer a couple years ago and my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer a little over a month ago. After doing a lumpectomy a week ago, she now faces weeks of radiation. It is amazing how this can happen so quickly, but it sure puts things into perspective. Good Luck to you and your mom and I will remember you both in my prayers as I am praying for my mom!!! Mandy Schiess

Chris and Logan said...

Oh Shan, I am so sorry. Cancer does really suck!! I know your mom will pull through with flying colors. You have such a great family , my thoughts and prayers are with you all.

pollydove said...

I am so sad to hear that Shannon! I don't think anyone is ever prepared to hear those words. I have only had one mammogram and the girl said they would only need to call the doctor in if they saw a problem. Then when it was over, she told me she needed to go get the doctor.

I just laid on that table and the tears streamed down my face worried about what my children would do without me if I died. (Turned out it was "glandular mass" ... ?)

This will be a trying time for your family for sure. We will be thinking about you, sending out lots of positivity and prayers for you sweet mom! xoxo

zarbocks said...

cancer= the f word!! Im so sorry. cancer has shown its ugly face to many time in our family!! We'll keep ya in our prayers!!

The Author said...

Oh, Shan, I am so very sorry. I hate cancer. It has hurt so many I love and I have often felt I can't get away from it. I will add my prayers with yours tonight.

Your mom doesn't even know me, but give her a hug for me and tell her just how many people are pulling for her. Big hugs to you.

Hawleywood said...

I think your mom is going to make cancer HER bitch!! Keep us posted on her progress! I'm sending lots of prayers and good vibes your way! Keep us posted, and much love!

The Brady Bunch said...

I'm so sorry Shannon. Your family is in my prayers. Lots of love your way!!!

Anonymous said...

Your words sum it up perfectly. Cancer is a BITCH. Keep your head up.

astarterhouse said...

Hey - I know you probably don't know me from Adam, but I've been following your blog for over a year and just wanted you to know that I'm praying for your mom. If you want some encouragement, Isaiah 41:10 is amazing! My dad got diagnosed with prostate cancer less than a year ago and just had surgery a couple of months ago and although it was treatable, I still was shook up- because cancer is a big and ugly ugly word, but thankfully modern medicine is bigger and HE is even bigger!