Tuesday, April 26, 2011


Too Much Information

We've all done it- shared more than we should have. Information that was best kept to yourself- whether it be airing your dirty laundry or speaking about your bowel movements, after it's spoken you usually think, "Oooooh...TMI!"

But when is it too much information? My TMI moments usually come when I'm sharing a story, but I only share because I want support, advice, or just a good listening ear. Yes, I might tell you about my terrible irritable bowel syndrome and how it left me aching in areas I've never ached before, but maybe you'll have some great advice regarding my situation. TMI? Yes. But the advise you gave on bismuth subsalicylate was greatly appreciated and helpful!

And what if you give TMI about family or personal relationships? Often times, I think I share too much with people. I share a personal story and hours later, when alone and pondering the conversation, I often feel that I've said too much. Will my confidant truly keep my dilemma to themselves? What if they think less of me? What if they judge me and think, "Damn girl, you crazy!" Or what if they said it out loud? "You did WHAT!?" That would be mortifying.

That is how I feel blogging sometimes. There are a lot of people I know personally who read my blog and even more who I don't know personally. Most of the time, I share things on here that are filtered. I share just enough information to give you a glimpse into my life, without opening up too much. I know what you're thinking though. "Seriously Shan? You filter what you tell us?"
I'm a blunt person and I like to keep it real, but if you only knew what I wanted to write about and don't.

Because pushing the limit- sharing TMI makes me that much more vulnerable. I've read blogs where the author poured her thoughts out wholeheartedly and the responses were just as brutally honest- some nice and some not to nice.

And that's my fear. So for now, I keep my filter on. Sometimes it's more opaque than other times, and sometimes, like tonight, I wish I could share so much with you.

Do you filter what you say? Or are you the person I wish I could be who says, "To hell with you all! This is my blog and I'm sharing what I want, come what may!"


Katie said...

Oh, Shan.. I feel you.

However, my filter broke years ago and I never went and bought a new one.

I share EVERYTHING. If it's TMI they can write me off as crazy and move on. Sharing the TMI moments has not only made it possible to receive really good advice I normally wouldn't get, but it's really showed me who my true friends are. Worth it? You betcha. I'm an open book, baby--read it and puke/weep/laugh/cry/love.

Love you, girl!

paula said...

I love Katie's comment.

Shan-you and I are more alike than you know. I am the same way. Sometimes it feels nice and safe and other times is feels confining doesn't it?

Judgmental people are going to judge no matter what you say. Genuine people just accept you and take it for what it is.....your reality. Nothin but love from me to you girl.....I think you ROCK!

pollydove said...

I SOOOO wear my heart on my sleeve (as they say) and tell WAY too much of the story to too many people. One of my sisters has said several times, "That is one of the good things about you, but it can also be not so good sometimes."

When I started my blog though, I knew that I better only write about happy things or it could get ugly given my circumstances!!! I didn't want it to be a place to vent because OH BOY can I vent!!! (Ex's you know.)

So I hear ya, I feel your pain ... what are we gonna do when that is our personalities, right? (Love you though!)

Madi said...

I mostly filter my potty mouth. I wish I could full out be me but I know I might make my church friends blush :)

Vanessa Dawne said...

Hi Shan, I understand how you're feeling. I set up a couple of sites so I have one that's my design/decorating, sort of 'professional' voice -- the other my personal/here's-my-life voice.

Some people know of both, some read only one of them.

I think in a way we all have our 'crazy' ways & those who react negatively may simply be afraid to look inside themselves.

Take care & have fun.

Anonymous said...

I didn't used to filter. Now I have to because I lost a good friend from writing something "offensive" on my blog that wasn't meant to be offensive. I would probably throw out little cusses more often on my blog if my Grandma didn't read it. But she scolded me for "saying words I shouldn't" on my blog. And since she did it in front of the whole family-I was pretty embarrassed. ANYWAY-as for YOU and YOUR blog-I say don't filter. I can't picture you saying anything offensive. Most of your TMI seems to be shared tastefully.

irbuanosraL said...

I can totally relate to your post! I am an open book and share a lot, but then later kind of worry about how what I said was percieved. I heard a quote recently that said, "what makes you vulnearable makes you beautiful." If that's true, then I am REALLY beautiful, hahahaha. Because I do kind of open myself up a lot!

lifeinredshoes said...

No filter, don't give a damn ;)

The Author said...

I have never thought you shared too much. But I understand. I took our family blog private, thinking that I was protecting myself, but I still got some downright hateful comments when I shared some personal struggles. It is a hard balance. BUt I love what you write.

camille creates said...

My blog is about what I make and I try to be inspirational.
I don't share personal stuff on my blog. I rarely talk to people about my problems because I don't want to hear theirs. However I wish sometimes that I could be more open. Those who know me in real life know I have no filter at all. Your blog is your blog, you can share whatever you want to. It doesn't matter what people think about it, if they don't like it they don't have to read it. There's a million other blog out theer. I really like your blog and would like to get to know you better in person.
Your friend Camille.