I’ve always thought of myself as a glass half full kind of girl, but lately, I think I’ve been somewhat of a Debbie Downer.
A few weeks ago, I was on the phone with my mom. I was venting about this and that and I was getting irritated when my mom was trying to offer positive solutions to my problems. At the time, that was the last thing I wanted to hear. I wanted her to agree with me and say, “You’re so right!” She did offer empathy, but it wasn’t enough to satisfy me. When our conversation ended, I was more bugged than ever. I thought my mom was supposed to be my #1 supporter and agree with me on everything! It happened again a few days ago as I was driving home. I was on the phone with a friend venting about this and that, and when she started offering positive advice, I felt the familiar irritation starting to form. I couldn’t understand why they weren’t just saying, “Girl, I KNOW! How could that person do that thing to you? You are sooo validated in your feeling!!!”
And then it kind of hit me. “Geeze…” I thought, “…it’s probably not much fun talking to someone on the phone who’s bitching about this and that…” and so I turned my tone around. I started talking about more of the positive things that happened in my day. And I actually felt better! Rather than dwelling on the negative, I said my peace, absorbed the advice given, and let it go.
I can’t say that I always do that. I’ll admit…there are times I dwell too much on something and let it irritate me to no end! I tend to dwell on subjects and beat a dead horse, because I want people to agree with me! I must feel validated and I confuse showing empathy mixed with a little good advice to mean you’re in disagreement with me.
Who else feels this way? I so wish I didn’t let things get to me. I think I bottle up all my frustrations and stories about people who bugged me from the day and wait to share them with someone I really trust, and then it all comes spewing out in a negative mess! How do you deal with this? It’s been a hard lesson for me to learn!