Thursday night, Andrew and I were setting up for our Halloween party. We were trying to decide how to rearrange our furniture to fit everything, and as I was walking backwards, looking up to see where to place the streamers, I tripped over my leopard print footstool, causing my feet to fly up, while my buh-donk-a-donk butt crashed onto our hardwood floors. I immediately started bawling (hysterically) and called my mom.
"Mawwwwwmmmm! *sobbing* Eythinkayebrokemytailbooooone!!!!"
"What?! I can't understand you honey. You broke your cell phone?"
"No! My taaaaiiilll boooonnnee! It hurts so bad!!! *gasp, sob, gasp, sob*"
When she could finally understand what I was saying, she told me I should probably get it checked out. So off we went. The first hospital we went to had a packed ER & I realized they weren't in our "preferred network" (stupid insurance), so we went to another ER and got in fairly quick.
My eyes were red and swollen from crying so hard & I had just taken my contacts out which made them even more red. When the nurse came to talk to us about what happened, he looked at me funny and then asked if I was on any medication. I told him I wasn't and he lifted one eye brow.
"Are you sure? You haven't taken anything?"
I looked at him with a confused look and said, "Yeah, nothing. I had an IB profin like a week ago..." and then I gave Andrew a what the heck look.
"Have you been crying?"
I looked over at Andrew again like, "Is this guy for real?" and then looked back at the nurse and said, "Um. Yes. I think I broke my tail bone. It hurts really bad."
"Oh, so that's why your eyes are so red."
I'm not sure if he thought I was in there just to get some drugs or what, but it was a tell tale sign of how the rest of the night would go. The nurse, still looking at my suspiciously, took my blood pressure & temperature, and then he sent someone to take me back to get an x-ray. I was still in my jeans & cardigan, and I was surprised when we got into the x-ray room when the technician said, "Okay, so pull your pants down and just lay flat on your back on this table."
"Umm...right here?" Did I hear her right? I looked around the room for a nightgown or something to change into.
The tech was writing something on a chart and didn't look up. "Yeah, just down to about your thighs."
So I got up on the table, laid down, and pulled my britches down. Laying on your back with only about an inch of foam between you and the hard, flat surface is uncomfortable, but when your tail bone is throbbing, it's torture. Laying there with your pants around your knees just adds insult to injury.
The tech finally brought over a sheet, which I'm guessing was from the prenatal unit judging by its size and covered my stomach. Barely. I laid there, flexing my glutes, trying to hold my bum off the table to relieve some of the pressure while they took x-rays. It hurt like hell and was taking forever. I wondered how much longer it would last when the tech hollered out from behind the glass (she was in another room)
"Okay, so now just turn onto your left side and hold still. We just need to take a few more."
Seriously? Another angle? As I was adjusting myself to turn, I felt a slight breeze on my lower half. Oh my...Where was this sudden sensation coming from? I then realized that when I pulled my pants down, I must have yanked a bit on my underwear too, causing them to low ride and thus revealing my HBC (high butt crack).
"Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh!"
What could I do? I was frozen. I couldn't move, and adjusting to pull them up would just bring more attention to the problem at hand. Plus, it would make the film fuzzy and I'd have to lie there even longer. I cringed as I faced a bare wall, while my behind was in full view. The only thing I could think was "crack kills, Shan" and I was dying from embarrassment.
When the x-rays were finally done, I pulled my pants up and walked with the tech who lead me back to my stretcher in the ER. We didn't speak at all. A few hours went by, and we waited. They gave me some meds, and then took me back to do another round of x-rays (this time I yanked my undies up high so I didn't give another show) and finally 4 hours later, the doctor told me that my tail bone wasn't broke, just badly bruised. (If bruising it felt this bad, I can't imagine how it would feel if I'd broken in!)
They finally sent me away with some meds & a donut. It has served as my throne since, as it will for the next 3-4 weeks. Ouch.