Friday, April 30, 2010

{kiki}

Yesterday we made the decision to have our beautiful, sweet, little kitty put to sleep.

We knew she had cancer, but I didn't realize how fast things would get worse. She was so thin and weak, barely eating or drinking, and her stomach was bloated, which if you have pets that are sick, you know that's a bad sign.

Every morning she would sit at our bedroom door, waiting for us to wake up and open the door so she could jump on the bed and greet us. For the past week or so, she hadn't been at our door. Instead, when she heard us get up, she would slowly make her way upstairs and into our bedroom. Then she'd jump on the bed and sleep.

Yesterday when I opened the door, she wasn't there. As I was getting ready for work, I kept glancing in the hall to see if she had come up yet. When she finally came upstairs, she walked into our room and stopped at the foot of the bed. I waited for her to jump up, but instead, she looked pitifully up at me and then back at the bed. I knew she wanted up, but didn't have the energy, so I picked her up and sat her on the bed.


I had been dreading the decision to put her down for days, but I knew as things got worse that it was time. Andrew knew it too and we cried as I called the vet to make the appointment.

When I first posted about Kiki being sick, someone left me a comment and told that they wished they had taken more pictures with their pet, so before we took her in, we each took a picture with her, crying and telling her goodbye.

I can honestly say that walking into the vet with my sweet, little cat was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. To make the decision to end a life is excruciatingly hard...even when you know they're suffering.

I stroked her stomach to try and comfort her as the vet injected the medicine that would stop her heart. One minute she was purring, then it slowed, and then it stopped and I knew she was gone.

The vet left us alone with her, and Andrew and I wept. I told her I was so sorry and thanked her for the joy she brought into our lives. I hope she knew how much we loved her.
Goodbye Kiki.
Thank you for letting me love you and thank you for loving me.

27 comments:

Claire said...

:( I'm so sorry to hear about Kiki! That is horrible. I'm glad you were able to take photos with her. The one you posted is so sweet. Such a beautiful kitty.

Allisha said...

Shannon,
I'm so sorry. That is a hard decision. Hope you're okay.

Katie said...

Oh, Shannon... Kiki is beautiful. Such a tough decision but you know it was the right one, so you can have comfort in that. Our kitties bring us such joy every day it's only right to let them go when they are no longer happy and healthy.

I'm so glad you have those pictures... this picture is amazing. I love ya, girl.. call anytime. Goodbye sweet Kiki.

DOEHLER DAYS said...

I'm so sorry. I feel your pain. We just put our dog down this week on Tuesday. It's so hard to say goodbye, and make that decision. But it's for the best when they are in pain. Hang in there!

Barry Cann said...

Poor little thing. She was a sweet cat. :) Now she's rolling in an eternal prairie of catnip with other good cats.

Kerry said...

It's one of the most difficult things you'll ever have to do. I had a beautiful cat called Licorice and it broke my heart to have him put to sleep, but like your little one...he was in too much pain with cancer as well. Cry a lot. I did and sometimes still do...like when I read your post. Take care.

The Townhouselady said...

What a beautiful photo for an absolutely beautiful kitty.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Even when you know it's the right thing to do it still hurts like hell. You just have to take solace in the fact that right now she's happy as a clam pouncing around like a kitten.

My husband and I are close to that moment with our 21 yr old cat and I'm gearing myself up emotionally. Now I'm going to be sure to take lots of photos. So thank you for that!

Tina said...

I am so sorry about your loss :( reading your post made me start crying... I have had 3 cats and have one now and this cat is the love of my life. I dread the day I have to watch him in pain. Im so sorry. The picture is beautiful.

Wendy said...

That is so sad. It takes me back to the day our guinea pig died. She wasn't gone yet and I wrapped her in a dish towel and my son held her. His little friend stood by him and they both cried giant tears. I have a picture and the look of sadness is so real. I'm glad I have the picture, too.

Desiree said...

That is just about the most heartbreaking photo I have ever seen-and yet I love it. What does that say about me? Anyway, your Kiki was gorgeous and I am so sorry you had to put her down. That's hard.

Stephanie said...

What a sweet photo. I am so sorry to hear about Kiki, I had to put down my pet two years ago, and it wasn't easy. I know how your feeling, but it gets better!

Brittany said...

i'm crying as i'm reading this! lol i'm such a boob and especially when it's about animals! i'm so sorry you had to go thru that! :(
i hope you're doing ok.

Amanda said...

I'm heartbroken for you. It's so hard for people without animals to understand how strong the bond really is.

My thoughts are with you =)

Amanda said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Gracefully Vintage said...

So sorry- i know how hard that it is, we recently had to do the same thing with our Laso Opso Louie- a great dog, we rescued from the pound and after 10 years he coudlnt stand up with out falling, and barely ate- it was hard- and the kids didnt totally understand it-and even this morning- they pulled out his picture- the one that we took the day we had to put him to sleep. Im sorry to hear that..They become such family-
But i do love your blog-and all that you two do.
Karryann

Emily said...

What a sweet picture--Kiki is a beautiful kitty. My thoughts go out to you. I am so sorry for your loss.

Moni said...

Shannon, I have been following your blog since I saw you on Studio 5. I am sorry about your sweet kitty. I lost 2 dogs last year and I still cry for them. Making the merciful decision to end their suffering still haunts me.

House of Smith's said...

Oh Shann, I can't even imagine... really.
I'm so sorry you had to go through all that.

If you need anything let me know.

We need to go out. Call me when you feel up to it.
I miss ya.
Shelley

Katie said...

I am so very sorry for your loss!! You were super brave to make that decision -- I can only imagine how hard it must have been. Hope you can find peace in your loving memories!

Gavin and Laura Hansen Family said...

:( This makes me so sad. I am so sorry you had to go through that. Losing a pet is so hard -- they are part of our families. She was SO beautiful. Those eyes are gorgeous. I'm glad she's not suffering any more.

Whatever Dee-Dee wants said...

I'm so sorry!
I went through that with my cat of 18 years a few years ago. So sad!

steph anne said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Kiki is so beautiful! I've never experienced the loss of a pet because I just got 2 cats a few years ago. I can't imagine having to go through that. :(

Shawn said...

What a beautiful cat...I can't imagine how hard that must have been--but take comfort in knowing you will see her again!

CASA BRASI said...

What a beautiful baby! I'm so sorry that you lost Kiki. I have two cats of my own and love them dearly. Reading what you had to do made me cry but also appreciate the time I have with my own. At least you know deep down that Kiki is no longer in pain. I hope your own pain lessens every day.

Karlie said...

Oh, wow. People say they can never have a pet because it is hard to let them go, when their time has come. But it is so worth it. To think of all the pets I went through as a child and teen. Those times prepared me for different trials along my journey. Thanks for sharing Shan.

alyssa said...

Gah, tears, you got me! I am so sorry you had to make this decision but it was obviously the best. She was such a beautiful cat! I hope you are able to cope well with this. <3

Carmen Martins said...

OMG! that news made me cry! I have two wonderful cats and I love them so much. I could never thought about something like this and I hope you are fine now. She was so beautiful!

Xoxo
Carmen - Sao Paulo - Brazil